I need to bitch this out.
I am so fucking tired of school. it doesnt matter to me anymore and it is a waste of my fucking time. The only things about it i can take are SOME people like 3 maybe 4 and getting to leave in 3 fucking months.
Web design class is the biggest load of shit that could ever be considered academic. all the assignments are retarded, repetative, and have stupid names like "barbara's bakery" "interstellar pizza" and "nomad ltd Web Wear!" (where you can buy nerdy-ass tee shirts saying i love html and the like). I feel like i am going to kill someone before during and after that retarded class. my teacher is stupid and i have so many missing assignments because 1. i am lazy but not THAT lazy and 2. shes dumb and checks off the things i show her that i have done but she doesnt put them in power school which ultimately makes me look worse and confuses not only me but her as well. Tonight i made a list of why i cant do things because of errors she made, files she didnt tell me i cant get to, and things i know i did but she never put as done and graded. I will read them off to her tomorrow. worst of all, i was interested in this class, and i would get so much more out of it if it werent fucked up.
Psychology...this class could be more fun but for some reason it has to be a "smart" class. Sorry but i dont have fucking time to read from the book every night. i am getting a C in this class because 1. i could study better, 2. i have no idea.
honors art: i have had a shitty art term this whole time and havent made anything im really happy about. the show at bergstrom mahler could be better if i had stuff in it that i actually am proud of...the psychadelic flower i like, but i dont know what else...its like god....and i have to fucking work tomorrow and cant get anyone to work for me so i dont knwo when i'll fucking get ther and its the most important academic thing of my highschool career....mock trial and sports go to state or whatever and this is my big thing...its the only thing i have to say for myself at school. along with that, i could have had the chance to put together an amazing portfolio for UW Milwaukee's art school for a scholoship but NOOO i was too lazy and had to work too fucking much to get it done. It is due tomorrow and i dont have enough drawings and i didnt start the essays. i had mr o and mrs z write me letters of recommendation (even tho im already accepted) and i feel bad i let them down. i still have to turn in a portfolio but i needed a scholarship...i know i could have done it. i feel shitty when i know what im capable of and i just dont do it for some reason or another. Plus....i need one more project done in two weeks, i am slow and have no fucking idea what to do. this is my last art class, last project...i suck.
ok...
i feel like im going to have an emotional breakdown soon. every other day at work when its really busy and loud and i cant walk cuz theres too many dogs....i feel like im going to start crying right in front of all my coworkers and about 30 dogs...then they will jump on me, perhaps claw my breasts like usual because they will be so darn interested and i will kill them not only with my mind but for real this time. i am so tired and stressed out. i've worked 9 days in a row and it hasnt been this busy since thanksgiving and christmas. STOP BRINGING YOUR FUCKING DOGS.
another aspect of my life sucks too....friends and guys...what the fuck honestly. fitz and i are fucked up but good now..i think....i hope....I am so fucking emotional and irritable people are starting to think im a crazy bitch (which i can be but not usually) and i wonder why they even can stand me and put up with me. i feel like i should thank and buy presents for people who have been there for me a lot lately.
This is long and my pot pie is almost done.
goodbye log.
edit.
Some have meaning. some make me smile.
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